I Do, but Do I? - Part 4 [Notes]

April 28th, 2024

The institution of marriage seems to be falling out of favor in our culture today. With the high divorce rate and the prevalence of unhappy marriages, many wonder, “Why bother?” No marriage will be perfect, but understanding God’s design for marriage and the Biblical keys needed to make it work can make all the difference.

Join us for “I Do, but Do I?,” a series about marriage that of us can benefit from because the qualities needed to make a strong marriage are the same ones needed to develop good relationships in general.

Takeaway // We need to learn to listen before we speak.

1. Listening is an expression of love.

My dearly loved brothers, understand this: Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
– James 1:19 (HCSB)

“Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is One. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.”
– Deuteronomy 6:4-5 (HCSB)

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable.”
– David Augsburger

2. Listening draws us closer to one another.

Counsel in a man’s heart is deep water; but a man of understanding draws it out.
– Proverbs 20:5 (HCSB)

…a discerning person can help another bring to the surface his true thoughts, intentions, or motives.
– S.S. Buzzel

I do not call you slaves anymore, because a slave doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from My Father.
– John 15:15 (HCSB)

My sheep hear My voice, I know them, and they follow Me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish—ever! No one will snatch them out of My hand.
– John 10:27-28 (HCSB)

3. Listening helps resolve conflicts.

My dearly loved brothers, understand this: Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for man’s anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.
– James 1:19-20 (HCSB)

The one who gives an answer before he listens—this is foolishness and disgrace for him.
– Proverbs 18:13 (HCSB)

4. Listening allows us to acquire knowledge and wisdom.

1. Listening is an expression of love.
2. Listening draws us closer to one another.
3. Listening helps resolve conflicts.
4. Listening allows us to acquire knowledge and wisdom.

A wise man will listen and increase his learning, and a discerning man will obtain guidance.
– Proverbs 1:5 (HCSB)

Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction, and don’t reject your mother’s teaching.
– Proverbs 1:8 (HCSB)

A fool’s way is right in his own eyes, but whoever listens to counsel is wise.
– Proverbs 12:15 (HCSB)

Therefore take care how you listen. For whoever has, more will be given to him; and whoever does not have, even what he thinks he has will be taken away from him.”
– Luke 8:18 (HCSB)

1. Listening is an expression of love.
2. Listening draws us closer to one another.
3. Listening helps resolve conflicts.
4. Listening allows us to acquire knowledge and wisdom.

If anyone thinks he is religious without controlling his tongue, then his religion is useless and he deceives himself.
– James 1:26 (HCSB)

“Anyone can be angry, that is easy…but to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way…that is not easy.”
– Aristotle

Discussion Questions //

Would you say that you have trouble listening sometimes? Why do you think it can be so difficult?
Read Proverbs 1:5, 8; Proverbs 12:15 and Luke 8:18. What are some of the benefits to being able to listen well?
Author David Augsburger wrote, “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable.” Would you agree with this statement? Explain your answer.
Read James 1:19-20. What do you think it means to be “quick to hear?” How might applying these verses help us get along with others, especially those with whom we disagree?
Read Proverbs 20:5. Why is it difficult to draw out from others the things they have in their hearts? Have you found some effective ways to do this?
How might you apply today’s study to your life?

Worship Setlist //

Take You at Your Word // Reckless Love // My Eyes Have Seen // All Hail King Jesus // I'm Listening

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