I Do, but Do I? - Part 2 [Notes]

April 14th, 2024

The institution of marriage seems to be falling out of favor in our culture today. With the high divorce rate and the prevalence of unhappy marriages, many wonder, “Why bother?” No marriage will be perfect, but understanding God’s design for marriage and the Biblical keys needed to make it work can make all the difference.

Join us for “I Do, but Do I?,” a series about marriage that of us can benefit from because the qualities needed to make a strong marriage are the same ones needed to develop good relationships in general.

Takeaway // The goal of marriage is physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy.

He set out from there and went to the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Then crowds converged on Him again and, as He usually did, He began teaching them once more. Some Pharisees approached Him to test Him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
– Mark 10:1-2 (HCSB)

“The strict view of Rabbi Shammai allowed divorce only if a wife were guilty of immorality; the lenient view of Rabbi Hillel allowed a husband to divorce his wife for almost any reason.”
– John Grassmick

He replied to them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses permitted us to write divorce papers and send her away.”
– Mark 10:3-4 (HCSB)

If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something improper about her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her, and send her away from his house.
– Deuteronomy 24:1 (HCSB)

But Jesus told them, "He wrote this command for you because of the hardness of your hearts."
– Mark 10:5 (HCSB)

But Jesus told them, "He wrote this command for you because of the hardness of your hearts."
– Mark 10:5 (HCSB)

“Moses wrote this Law, Jesus said, in view of their hardheartedness, their obstinate refusal to accept God’s view of marriage. Moses acknowledged the presence of divorce in Israel but did not institute or authorize it.”
– John Grassmick

But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate.
– Mark 10:6-9 (HCSB)

So God created man in His own image; He created him in the image of God; He created them male and female. – Genesis 1:27 (HCSB)
But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. – Mark 10:6 (HCSB)

This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh. – Genesis 2:24 (HCSB)
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. – Mark 10:7-8 (HCSB)

“Oh Darla, we are two hearts but with one beat; two brains but with one thought; two souls but with one … shoe.”
– Alfalfa, Little Rascals, 1994

"In Christian marriage, intimacy is the holy union of body, mind, and spirit, where two souls are knit together in love and grace, reflecting God's design for relational wholeness and unity."
– Gary Thomas

The goal of marriage is intimacy

physical

But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate.”
– Mark 10:6-9 (HCSB)

Genesis 1:28
Proverbs 5:15-19
Song of Solomon
1 Corinthians 7:1-5

“Physical touch is a powerful vehicle for communicating marital love. Holding hands, kissing, embracing, and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating love to one’s spouse.”
– Gary Chapman

The goal of marriage is intimacy

physical
emotional

But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate.
– Mark 10:6-9 (HCSB)

Oneness in marriage reaches far beyond the physical level. It relates to the whole human existence. In marriage, two whole lives unite together as one emotionally, intellectually, financially, spiritually, and in every other way. They are so close that they function like one person, balancing each other’s strengths and weaknesses so that together they can fulfill their God-given calling.
– Gotquestions.org

The goal of marriage is intimacy

physical
emotional
spiritual

But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate.
– Mark 10:6-9 (HCSB)

The goal of marriage is intimacy

physical
emotional
spiritual

Discussion Questions //

If you are married, briefly share a fond memory from your wedding day.
Based on Mark 10:6-9, how do you understand the concept of "the two will become one flesh" in the context of physical intimacy in marriage? What are some practical ways you and your spouse can cultivate physical intimacy?
In the message, emotional intimacy is described as leaving the safety and familiarity of one's birth family to create a new, shared life with a spouse. How can prioritizing your spouse as your best friend contribute to emotional intimacy in marriage? Share examples from your own relationship.
Discuss the role of God in uniting couples together in marriage, as emphasized in Mark 10:9. What does spiritual intimacy look like for you and your spouse? How can you incorporate worship, prayer, Bible reading, or other spiritual growth opportunities into your marriage to deepen your spiritual connection?
What is one specific thing you can do this week to enhance intimacy in your marriage, whether it's a physical, emotional, or spiritual aspect? Share your action plan with the group and encourage one another to follow through.

Worship Setlist //

This Is Our God // 1,000 Names // Sons and Daughters // Good Grace

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