Love in Listening

Love in Listening
Author: Brittany Luzier, High School Director
I Do, but Do I? - Part 4
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During the last couple of years of my mom’s life, she suffered from some pretty severe memory issues, robbing her of recollections and weaving confusion into her day. She also repeated herself quite a bit. She would often tell the same stories over and over again and would ask the same questions repeatedly. In a way, as a family, we all sort of made light of it by lovingly teasing her about it, and she always got a kick out of our laughs. I think part of her knew it was our way of handling such a heavy situation. She always had the best sense of humor and never shied away from a good joke.

Our family, faced with the weight of her condition, found solace in gentle jests and affectionate teasing. It was our way of navigating the darkness with a touch of levity, and my mom, in her own way, found joy in our shared laughter. Her resilience was remarkable; she embraced each jest with a smile, never losing sight of the humor in our shared struggles.

Growing up, my mom was always the best listener. She always made me feel like I could tell her anything without judgment or fear. It was one of the things that made our relationship incredibly special. As her memory started to go, I longed for the opportunity to connect with her about our memories and the times we shared. Unfortunately, she couldn’t recall many of them and instead would continue to repeat herself or repeat stories in her mind or questions she never could recall the answers to.

On Sunday, Pastor Tim gave us four reasons why listening is important. Every one of those reasons made me think of my mom. In the last years of her life, listening became so much more important to both of us. I think, to her, it helped her feel seen when someone was sitting down with her and letting her talk. She had moments of clarity that were few and far between, but in those moments, I could see how grateful she was for those moments of connection. It became important for me to also be able to share with her how much I loved her and would ultimately miss her, both of us knowing her time was coming to an end.

In James 1:19-20 we read, “My dearly loved brothers, understand this: Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for man’s anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.”

It was hard not to find myself in anger sometimes. It was hard when I did my best to meet my mom where she was, yet, she could not meet me there. It was hard to leave a conversation with her feeling connected and have the exact same conversation the next time we saw each other. It was hard to not get mad at myself for feeling anything but peace and love in her presence, but as a human, anger and frustration often swept in.

Now that she has been gone for over five years, I would give just about anything for one of those conversations over the same stories and questions. Instead, I get to reflect on our many amazing memories that I get to hold tightly until we meet again. As Pastor Tim said on Sunday, listening is a way of demonstrating love, drawing closer to one another, resolving conflicts, and results in greater understanding, knowledge, and wisdom. My mother helped me learn all these things, both when she was of sound mind and after.

This week, I encourage you to really listen to those around you and show them your love for them and the Holy Spirit through your intentional listening.